A Few Short Newbies...

A fruit bat found some frozen figs
In far-out French Newfoundland
He travelled quite some distance
He could just have gone to Poundland!


A single solitary bear
Is something to behold
Just one fair bear is silver
But a pair of bears is gold

Every day a damaged timepiece

Tells the right time twice 

Unless it's set to twelve, 

Then one could argue 

'Tis right thrice

A rodent whiperer whispered though affected by a lisp
A water shortage left his mammals filthy furred and crisp
Precariously he placed his pets upon a pious plinth
He spoke unto the lord "pleathe thir, my thquirrelth need a rinthe"

Mirror, Mirror on the table

Who's the greatest, best, most able?

"I should say you..." the glass replied,

"But why'd you leave me on my side?"

For Spike

In my brain there lives a Milligan
An animal of sorts 
He's fairly quick with rhymey words 
And witty weird retorts 
He oft bursts out at random 
With big shoes I try to fill 
He gifted us wise parting words: 
"I told you I was ill!"

The Fearless Pursuit Of Chocolate

There is a myth of chocolate covered treats in kitchen yonder
There is a tin, therein, lieth a final chocolate biscuit
In darkest night, by candlelight, in bare foot toes I wander
Aghast! The creaky floorboard in the hall!
Best not risk it.

Inglish!

If a scanner in Cancun can scan a toucan, you can too!
I canoe, can you? Can do! If two can, too can you!
Language tis peculiar; a silly subtle sport
Understand it, can thou, though through, tough and thorough thought.

Some Haikus…

A wise man once said
Woof, woof, woofy woof, woof, woof
Well… no man… a dog.


Carnivores eat beef
Apivores differ somewhat
Those people eat bees


Unfortunately
Oversimplification
Overcomplicates


Some folks eat with forks
Others are partial to spoons
I like chopsticks, though


Rain is sky water
Lightning is the sky's lightbulb
Thunder: he’s hungry

This is not a poem, it’s actually a serious recipe for pancakes

Three ounce of flour and one pinch of salt
Four if it’s more savoury based
Bicarb of soda which makes them all fluffy
An ounce of ground sugar to taste

Mix up the dry stuff, creating a dip
Drop in two large eggs and mix
Fold in the whole milk a spoon at a time
Heat up the ring at mark six

Whisk until smooth and the texture of soup
Now grab a large frying pan
Pour out the mixture and spread it about
Circular shapes if you can

Cook until bubbles pop up at the sides
Then get thee a spatula quick
Oh, and there’s one little thing I forgot!
Use some oil so the pan doesn’t stick!

Flip it and cook it ‘til both sides are browned
Repeat until mixture is dead
Serve up with fruit and some chocolate perhaps
Or some syrup and bacon instead

Put on a plate and then pick up a fork
Put in mouth, chew and repeat
If you’re still snacky, why not make some more!
The favouritest lazy day treat!

Even MORE Limericks

He came from the Deep Blue Lagoon
And fed sugar to bees on a spoon
He jarred up the honey
Which earned him some money
To pay for his flight to the moon


It’s weird to think that in France
There’s a funny peculiar dance
Where you jump up and down
Like an eccentric clown
As if deeply enthralled in a trance

Some More Limericks About Animals

There once was a wombat named Wu
Who felt quite exceptionally blue
He gathered his mates
They broke out of their crates
And they made their escape from the zoo


A moose crossed the street in Alaska
En route to the lands of Nebraska
She jumped on a train
Took a detour through Maine
I’m not quite sure why… but I’ll ask her